Oh...the vagaries of an unsettled mind. Today - I find some solace in reading those good things stated in the Vedanta texts. But, whimsicality of the mind returns at the first available opportunity, swiftly, decisively and like a hurricane that takes everything in its wake. It's not easy.
I feel repulsed by the quantity of sham that's being promoted in the name of religion. When I look at Science and most notably Physics in its efforts to get a sense of this creation (if so it may be called) - that too seems compulsively vague. Einstein - while having contributed so conclusively to the advent of Modern Physics and Quantum Science - never quite liked the idea of God's playing dice for it's so difficult to imagine what we see around us without attributing an all knowing Cause behind it.
Thus the quest continues. Time and Space have been proved to be but a speck of imagination. Our Vedas and Vedanta have said this all too often that the whole creation is but a speck of imagination. That seems to echo the view of Science as well. But like it has been said by Ramana Maharshi - and so beautifully true it all seems to be - that the human mind is given to flights of fancies; it is just not content accepting that there's no rocket science around all this creation business - it's only in our imagination. That it is the Brahman that under the spell of maya has become this world - and that in the process the Brahman itself has not changed - even as the Gold chain does not require a change in the intrinsic nature of Gold itself. The fact that indeed this whole creation is but a creation of our Egos. To attest this fact the instance of deep sleep is cited. When we are in deep sleep, we remember, feel, know, desire, hate, love nothing. We just remain suspended as it were. Words can't describe that state accurately enough. We just lose everything. We lose our individuality. While all is lost, the self is not. Because when we wake up we do remember that we enjoyed a good sleep. So there was someone who was there all the time during which none of the other business of this world was apparent to us. That something was nothing but our True Self - that was there almost as a witness to the phenomenon of sleep. When we wake up, so does our ego and it brings the world back in business. Then we become ourselves - father, child, husband, brother and so forth. We become the many things that we simultaneously are during our tenure on earth. All this had for a moment gone into hinding when we were deeply asleep. The sages say that that's our real nature. All else is ego's creation. The mind which is but ego's creation keeps flitting from one subject to the other and never lets one stay peacefully. They say that whatever moves fast stays young. In an experiment, two clocks which were set to the same time and absolutely identical in every way were used - one was sent in a rocket to space and the other was kept on earth. After the journey in space, the clock that went in the rocket showed a smaller amount of time elapsed than the one on earth. That happened of course due to the Relativistic Effect of travel at speeds bordering the speed of light. But it affirms the theory that the faster a thing moves, the slower it ages. So is it with the mind. It is famed to move even faster than light. Well, it's speed is actually incalculable. No wonder while the body ages, the mind never does and stays as active as it always was even at the very end of our lives (medical objections to mental insanity can be made but that can be shown to be exceptions arising due to uncontrollable external factors - that still does not undermine the argument about the nature of the mind itself).
In the end - after all the debates, discussions, philosophizing, criticizing, scrutinizing - the mind, ephemeral, given to tantrums and flighty as is its wont - comes back to its wayward ways and says - it all doesn't add up.
Hasn't added up for me yet... Like I said in a small post made earlier... I am still lost on the Truth... decisively...
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