I have been very restless lately. It's been more than an year that I have sat down to write something on this till-now-dormant blog of mine.
Today, suddenly, I remembered Gyanganj - a mystical place believed to be nestled somewhere in the Himalayan region of India and Tibet. How did Gyanganj occur to me? Ever since my father - Late Dr. S.K. Dubey - left for his heavenly abode on August 29th, 2006 - I have missed him countless times. My late father was heavily influenced by Devaraha Baba. Since he was a journalist of immense standing in the town of Allahabad and indeed within the state of Uttar Pradesh, he often used to meet Devaraha baba when the latter came to Prayag on his annual visits during the Magh Mela. Father had interviewed Baba ji a couple of times -interviews that culminated in a book father wrote subsequently sometime during the mid-eightees.
I must have been around 10 years old when the incident I am about to narrate took place. It was during one of those interviews that I had a chance to sit with Devaraha baba atop his "machan" (a raised structure made of wood). Memories are a bit hazy now, given the length of time that has elapsed; it must have been the year 1983 or 1984, a few years before Baba eventually took Mahasamadhi. I remember baba mentioning to my father that his "friends in Gyanganj" were calling him, and that it was time for him to go. I obviously understood nothing - but did feel a certain sense of mystery surrounding the ensuing conversation between my Dad and the Baba. We were also accompanied by another very close friend of my father's, Pt. Ram Naresh Tripathi, who was also a journalist besides being an avowed devotee of the Devi. Tripathiji always used to perform the 9-day Navaratri puja at our George Town residence in Allahabad. Devaraha baba had remarked that my father and Ram Naresh Tripathi ji were actually real brothers in their past lives.
Tripathji had remarked that he had never heard baba recount his Gyanganj experience as he had done that day. I truly consider myself blessed in that I heard about Gyanganj from someone who actually belonged there even though I was hardly able to comprehend its significance back then. I remember baba mentioning that Gyanganj is where Yogis like him reside.
Anyway - coming back to the question I started this blog with - why and how did I remember Gyanganj today? Well, as I had mentioned earlier - I miss my father very often and whenever I miss him, I tend to remember most of the people and incidents connected with him. Gyanganj has had a profound effect on my state of being. And the initial or primal cause was the fact that the Devarha Baba himself had mentioned about it and I was deeply attracted to the powers of Devaraha baba. My dad had later (when i grew up a little more) explained to me what Gyanganj was about. Obviously no body was an authority on the subject and even people who claim to have visited Gyanganj are under oath to not declare the secrets of the place openly. So, the sense of secrecy unfortunately - at least for the common public - will likely remain for ever. But whatever father did tell me was enough to kindle the flame of curiosity within me. What is Gyanganj? What's so special about it and so on. Later on I found Gyanganj being mentioned in the famous Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yoganand. He mentioned Gyangang as the living abode for the venerable BabaJi.
It's almost like the search for the Truth itself; each one has to undertake the journey towards the Truth - one step at a time - at first guided by one's own Faith and Belief and later when the faith becomes strong enough, guided under the watchful eyes of the GURU who verily appears when the Time is Right. Such is what I have been told. The questioning mind, as is the human nature's wont, does not accept it at face value. But even the Mathematical Axioms - such as that a "Point" is an object with no dimensions (0 length, 0 width and 0 height) - simply have to be accepted. There is no why or wherefore to them. Similarly there are things that just have to be accepted. They cannot be exposed to the kind of scrutiny that logic requires.
I am slowly coming around to believing it. I believe things happen according to the divine plan. One has to go through the "process". There are no short-cuts.
My father - who was a devout bhakta of the divine mother Durga - died a horrendously painful death from renal failure. During my prayers to the divine mother, I have often found myself questioning her as to why my father had to go through that profound agony. As an attendant of my father during his painful last days, I had seen him suffer first-hand. Recently, during a rather extended discussion with a spiritually-inclined friend of mine - I was reminded by him that all pain, suffering, love, attachment - in short all forms of human or earthly emotions - are illusory or Mayic in nature. There is no truth behind these so called sufferings. He reminded me the example of the classical snake-rope illusion. So long as one is under the illusory spell of maya, one would not be able to distinguish between a rope and a snake. Therefore many-a-times, a false sense of fear would grip the mind upon seeing a rope. Till the time one becomes free of the illusion that it is not a snake but just a rope, one would remain under fear. That's the essence of the pain and suffering that's perceived at the transactional level of our day-to-day existence. It is also called Agnan or Maya... synonyms for illusion. It's hard to accept this. Very hard. Because everything happening around us is our sole connection with the reality. Whatever else that exists beyond what our five senses can perceive is well-nigh beyond the comprehension of ordinary mortals like us. We do not know. We cannot comprehend. But the fact that we cannot comprehend does not negate the existence of that entity (that which exists beyond the comprehension of our five senses).
So, one keeps on moving from one plane to the other until one finds the Absolute Truth. It's not easy, but it becomes very easy once the ignorance is dispelled and the illusory maya has been overpowered with the Light of Knowledge.
There are no bonds in reality. There is no relationship - no father, no mother, no brother, no sister. Yes, it sounds preposterous. You would wonder "what the hell am I talking about". But yes I say these things to you and verily the truth shall descend on your mind once you open the gates of belief and allow your heart to acquire faith. Do I believe in what I am saying? Will I stop missing my father now? Will I now not get perturbed when a rape occurs or when people are slaughtered or when some other form of evil that besets our society takes place? Will I forgive someone for doing harm to me or my family? I don't know for sure - at least not quite yet. One thing is for sure however; it will not happen till the time I Think I Know. It will only happen When I will Know. That's the fundamental difference between I think I know and I know.
In a way: Trying to find answers for most of these questions is actually akin to solving the wrong problem: Again to quote an instance from my recent discussion with the spiritually-inclined friend of mine: It's like seeking to determine the gender of a child born to an infertile woman. By asking questions such as: Why doesn't God stop the atrocities being committed on the poor? Why does God let people suffer? Why does he leave them alone? Why does he let Al Qaeda behead people and give them the grossest form of torture anyone can imagine? - we are actually trying to solve the wrong problem. In the larger scheme of things it is the gross body that's suffering -not the one that's inside the body (the soul or true Brahman as expounded in the Vedantic Literature). It's hard to comprehend.
Perhaps the analogy with a motion picture might help. We do many a times get so engrossed and associated with what's happening in the movie that certain 'events' in the movie are capable of moving us to tears. That happens even though we know it's not real. Similary - remarked the spiritually inclined friend of mine during our recent conversation - that many sages who incarnate also appear to 'grieve' in other people's grief despite having full knowledge that none of that is real.
That was the message in the Geeta as well. The lord said to Arjun - What are you grieving for? It's not clear to me however, why he made Arjun fight the battle at all then? If nothing was real - he could have just left him alone and let fate take its own course. It's convoluted however because what God was doing was what Fate itself had ordained. So He possibly could not have left Arjun alone. Indeed the message in the battle was not so much the fact that one has to fight a battle against one's own kith and kin - the gist of the message is that one has to fight a battle against one's own ego - you need to fight a battle to resist the temptation to commit a sin - something that's very natural to a human being and offers a pleasurable sensation - but is very harmful for one's spiritual growth. So in order to achieve the oneness with God one has to kill the things that one likes the most. That's a semantic explanation for what happened in Mahabharata. Whether the battle took place in reality as it is described is beyond the subject of this discussion.
To summarize therefore, all these questions are real - based on our existence on the physical plane. However, on "another plane or dimension" one needs to ascertain who is suffering? The physical BODY or the SOUL (or Aatma) within? It's like saying when you tear away your clothes or tear or burn a piece of paper - do these objects really suffer pain? In other words do they experience pain as we know it? So it is with answering these questions...who is suffering? You might question, again, "But why should I consider another dimension? Is it not enough that the body is suffering the pain?" And the answer is yes. If you are content to know that the body is suffering the pain and will go back home peacefully - there - you've got your answer. I challenge you to question beyond the body for the body is not ourselves. That's the point. But that requires knowledge of Aatman and the difference between the body and the Aatma.
It's surprising and indeed contradictory that I am using logic to justify some of my arguments despite having mentioned that the subject of Truth is not amenable to understanding through logic. You need to cast aside your thinking hat and adorn the hat of faith and devotion. Then the path shall be revealed, verily. The venerable Maharishi Ramana was also asked a similar question by one of his devotees.
Apparently when the Rishi was a child he was badly beaten by a bunch of rowdies. He was asked whether he felt Pain upon being beaten. Why was he asked that question? Because even if he suffered pain he did not show it. Apparently those who actually beheld him being beaten reported that he had been very calm while getting beaten. He apparently did not feel pain as anyone else would have. So the question was asked. He said if you mean whether my body felt the pain - the answer is yes it did. If you mean whether I felt the pain - the answer is no I did not.
There is a framework that needs to be defined. One cannot solve a problem or answer a question without a Framework. The existence of any Truth or Falsehood is devoid without a Framework. So, while trying to solve the question of Who is suffering - the Framework for "the WHO" needs to be ascertained foremost - in simple words it's critical to understand who is "the WHO" being referred to. Once you understand the Framework the answers should readily present themselves.
Today, is incidentally the second day of Navratri. It is not a coincidence that divine thoughts are occurring to a man who is best known for things that hardly bear any resemblance to divinity. It does not bother me. I am what I am. And i will find out who that is. It's a process that will take some time. I am prepared to invest that time. So should you be if you are a seeker. If you have doubts you are not alone. If you don't have doubts you are still not alone. To each one there is a company. And in each company one is still alone because one is unique. Each one of us is unique. It's an oxymoron - a paradox you will say. And I say to you - yes it is.
Keep the faith. The truth shall be revealed.
Love
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